Making History: Leaving Marks

"Angel 8"  by Jim Carpenter, 6.5" x 4.5"

The Process Of Aging: Leaving Marks

This painting which I am titling "Angel 8" for the time being, is small. That is, it is small by comparison to what it was a few hours ago.

You may have noticed I've skipped from Day 16 of Leslie Saeta's 30 Day Painting Challenge to Day 21. That's how long it took for this painting to arrive. The original start had  been around for several years, painted blue and 11" x 22." I scrubbed it back and cut it in half weeks ago. In the last five days I must have painted it and then taken the painting back down to the raw paper at least 4 times. This is how my paintings get that aged look that I like so much. Each time I remove paint some elements are left behind - the scratches, the lines, the most stubborn layers of paint embed a history into the paper. 

I don't set out to do this - that is, I don't say, "Ok, I'll paint this and then destroy it 5 times and then finish it." Each pass I am hoping will release the painting. But sometimes that's what it takes.  That and an "ah ha" moment. 

Ah Ha: History Repeats Itself

For me this time the "ah ha" moment came when I realized that maybe the part of the painting I was really focused on was the essence of the painting and that the rest of the painting, though nice, was a distraction. Did I learn nothing from my own blog post on Day 15? All it took was finding mat corners to frame the area and I could see that I needed (once again) to crop the painting and that (once again) the image was exactly 6.5" x 4.5." What's that all about?  

I still like what is left behind of the 11" square. I may be able to use what's left for the next few paintings in the challenge. But what I'm learning from this process - two paintings in a row now - is that when the painting isn't working as a whole and I really like two different sections of the painting that maybe I have more than one painting going on in one space. It is a matter of composition. Sometimes I may be playing with composition and wanting to split the viewer's focus, but it didn't feel right today, and I sensed a need to zero the focus in on one grouping.  

Once Upon A Time: The Perfect Start

 "Places" by Jim Carpenter, Acrylic on Paper, 13.5" x 11" 

Once Upon A Time, Long Long Ago...

Five years ago I painted a start that I thought was the cat's meow! I loved it. But I didn't know what to do with it, and I was afraid I'd ruin it if I pushed ahead with it. So I put it in a folder and put it aside.  I would pull it out over the years hoping that I would see it and know where to go next with it. But that never happened. And when I looked at it today I had pretty much lost that loving feeling - that is, I still liked it but I thought it wasn't all that precious and it was time that I tried to do something with it or let it go. So, for Day 8 of the 30 Day Challenge I decided to finally do something with this 'ancient' start. 

Originally I wanted it to be a non-objective abstract, and that was one of the main reasons why it remained in the folder.  I know now how "non-objective" turns out for me - inevitably, save for a few rare occasions, an image begins to emerge and I'm off to carving out figures.  Why didn't I do that 5 years ago?  

Places: Story Time

I titled the painting "Places" because I get the sense that the figures are each from different stories - living in different environments - each with a tale to tell - but they are all in the same framework.  The title also alludes to theatre, an apt metaphor for story telling: when the stage manager gives the cue "Places!" the actors move to their "place" on stage to begin or to continue telling their story.  

It occurred to me only as I was preparing to write the blog post that this painting might be the cover of a great storybook - full of tales that resonate through the ages. If I decide to pursue that notion I will let you know. Maybe tomorrow!  

Here is the start I painted 5 years ago.  

The Tricky Path To The Sages

"Sages" by Jim Carpenter, Acrylic on Paper, 9" x 9" 

$150

Challenge Day 6: Trust In "Not Knowing"

It seems a bit ironic to title a painting "Sages" and then to blog about "not knowing." But, that is how I operate when I start a painting. I do "not know" what I will find at the end of the painting journey. And even when I start out with the idea that I'm going to paint a certain something, I often end up with something altogether different. Today I had planned - I should say "hoped" - to paint something joyful and full of color - and I ended up with a monochromatic image of two mysterious figures with a spiral behind them. I didn't know that was what I really wanted to say until I started to see it - then I knew what the painting was about. I use "not knowing" to get to "knowing." 

Here are the images of my "Start" and my "All The World's A Stage" mid process painting.

Even as I tried to accept it as "finished" I knew the painting with the 3 figures wasn't right. I felt the pull to obliterate it and find the real painting as well as the pull in the opposite direction - to resist the risk of obliteration and to preserve what was there. Ever been caught in that tension? 

I felt I had to go for something more authentic. I sprayed a paper towel with rubbing alcohol and scrubbed. 

The search for wisdom is a constant. Perhaps the figures I identify as "Sages" are a metaphor - a  representation of an old notion knocking around in my head that there are "keepers of the knowledge" - that there are "those who know" - and the path to them is tricky, risky, and full of false starts.

The Message: Just Do It

"Angel 7" by Jim Carpenter, Acrylic on Paper, 22" x 11" 

Challenge Day 4: Get A Move On

Taking on Leslie Saeta's 30 Day Challenge once again moves me to finish up some of my "starts" and I imagine the figure in this painting is relieved to finally be released from "painting limbo" where everything is either "just almost" or "not nearly" or simply "I'll get to you later so just chill." 

This is what I started with today.

 The painting was in this stage for many months. I think that the previous 30 day challenge and the card painting binge were all necessary steps in the creative process that led to my willingness to "just do it."  Here is a photo of what I thought might be the finished painting. 

I stopped long enough to consider it "done" but soon I felt that all of the business in the robe and the background was detracting from what I really wanted to emphasize, the iconic nature of the figure, its antiquity, its ethereal and in some way "sacred" nature. 

I had to risk covering up that which I thought was pretty - and I was not sure whether I was doing "the right thing" - whatever that is. Who gets to decide what's right in this case? I had the feeling that in this instance "less is more." It was only after I finished that I saw what it was that I had been after all along. Once I removed the trappings I recognized the figure which is present in many of my paintings.  

Be Fearless: Wear The Halo Proudly

"Angel 6" by Jim Carpenter, Acrylic on Paper, 6.5" x 4.5" 

Day 2: Accept the Corona 

I'm not talking about the beer here, I'm talking about the halo. If I'm going to express myself, be idle, enjoy, and search for meaning then several of my figures will undoubtedly have to support a halo. 

The word "halo" traces back to the Greek, 'halos' meaning "the disc of the sun or moon' later to suggest the "light around the head of a holy person or diety."  Painting angels at Christmas time gives me a good reason to have at the haloes. It's all part of my plan to be idle, that is to enjoy painting, and to give myself over to these figures that I find so mysterious, and so wonderful. 

For those who are disturbed by halos one could argue that the two figures in this painting are ordinary men, looking at the sun- or the moon - the disc (halos) just happens to be surrounding their heads. Why not? After all the original Latin and Greek roots "angelus" and "angelos" meant "messenger, envoy, one who announces." 

I wonder what their message is. I think they see something wonderful ahead.  

 

The Angel Sang: "Keep it Real"

"Angel 1" by Jim Carpenter, Acrylic on Paper, 6.5" x 4.5"

The Nature of Challenge Day One: One Begets Another

Usually I do one painting for my Christmas cards, photograph it, take it to the printer and have copies made, and then fix them to card stock and off they go. This year (who knows what possessed me) I decided to paint individual cards. I had been through a great 30 day Challenge with Leslie Saeta in September and maybe that fed the notion that I could paint 84 paintings for cards this year. My rationale went something like this:

1) It will take the pressure off of having to come up with ONE perfect painting in a few days

2) It will save me $80 in printing costs

3) I will get to paint a lot 

4) After they are mailed all of the paintings will be gone

5) Some people will think I am crazy and that is good for my image

It was all good. But nothing is perfect, and by Dec. 22 I was in a crunch.  

The Problem With The Process: The Product

I was very focused in the painting. It never quite resembled a production line but I had a number of themes going. 1) Red and Green Joy - 2) Snowflakes - and 3) Angels.  My main theme for all of them was Joy - but at some point I knocked out 5 angels - the first of the 5 is shown here. The painting was fun. Laying all the paintings out and counting them was fun. Trying different things in each painting was fun. I was being idle in the most enjoyable way. And when the painting was done and there was nothing left to do but actually attach the painting to the card stock and put it in an envelope I turned into a disinterested loafer. 

Once again I am reminded that it is the creative process that draws me to painting. It is the opportunity to use paint for self expression that drives the art making - not the final product.  

I was up until about 3 a.m. on Dec. 23 putting the cards into the envelopes. And at that time I hatched a plan for 2015 - paint the cards all year long - don't wait until December to start. Have the envelopes addressed by August, and maybe in 2015 there will be time to put up a tree.  

 2015 Challenge: Paint Your Heart Out

So probably you are wondering what any of this has to do with the current 30 day challenge I am taking on. Well, first of all, I'm pretty busy this month and I know there will be days when I cannot paint. I was going to paint today but needed some way of easing into it - like figuring out how I was going to connect the 30 days to my practice.  

As usual, I have a number of unfinished paintings waiting to be "done" - and hopefully the challenge of painting everyday will lead to working on finishing some of the more demanding pieces I have in progress. On the other hand, I want to celebrate, to practice some joyfulness, to experiment with some abstracts, experiment with some pigments - and would like the 30 days to be the jumping off place for a year of painting whatever my heart desires - or thinks it desires. 

I decided to post the angel for day one because I just came off a challenge of my own making - 84 paintings. It's sort of cheating by not doing a painting today - I'm borrowing from last week. But reviewing my card paintings today served as an inspiration for the January challenge -  I know I can do a 4.5" x 6.5" painting a day.  Here is a small sample created on PicMonkey (cropped images) of some of the paintings I did in December.

In this 30 day challenge I will continue my series of 4.5" x 6.5" paintings, and more. My focus will be on keeping it real - painting from the heart - being fearless in my quest for meaning and self-expression. 

The Idle Challenge: Discovery, Rediscovery, and Recovery

"Real dreams are about seeing what others miss. If you have your head in the clouds, you can see the world more clearly." - Tom Hodgkinson, How to Be Idle

Reflections On The 30 Day Ramble 

What a month of painting and reading and writing and daydreaming this has been. Thanks to Leslie Saeta and her 30 Day Challenge over 1000 artists participated in a challenge to paint and write and post for 30 days. The collage image above was created on PicMonkey and was much easier than I ever expected.  The paintings are on my website now and I would be delighted if you were to take a swing by there to look at the gallery, and just click on an image to see the full painting.  

The 30 day challenge was very much a 30 day ramble, a reflective walk through the landscape of my own creative process. 

Discovery

A good reflective ramble will open one's eyes, and I discovered a number of things this time around. First of all my trusted guidebook, "How to Be Idle" was a great eye-opener. I actually didn't know what a ramble was until I read this book. And I never really thought about how weavers were in charge of their own day until manufacturers came along and became their bosses. I have a couple of people to thank for this - my friend, artist Aryana B. Landir introduced me to creativity coach Mark McGuinness who recommended I read Tom Hodgkinson's "How to Be Idle." I loved finding a quote from the book to accompany each painting and to inspire the spin of my reflection on the painting experience. Blogging, like painting, is an opportunity to reflect.

Rediscovery

It may be hard to imagine losing sight of the joy of painting, and before the challenge I was burying the joy under a whole lot of unnecessary stress. It was time for me to step back and rediscover the joy of painting for the sake of painting. What other reason could I possibly have to paint but that I enjoy it? Why not paint figures? Why not paint flowers or landscapes? Why not take a crack at non-objective abstracts? Why not collage? Why paper? Why not Yupo and Crescent Board? How about mixed media?  

Recovery? I Don't Think So.

I have enjoyed this challenge because I allowed myself not to be covered - buried - under the stress of doing. I don't want to be re-covered in the kind of stress I felt before I started the challenge - I want to continue to be the loafer, the daydreamer, the rambler, who paints because it's fun. I've uncovered the joy. No need to "re-cover!"  

Thanks for following along. I hope it was as much fun for you as it was for me.  I'll continue blogging along - not every day - but I plan on writing once a week.  

On Being Idle: Star Gazing, Daydreaming, Painting

"Memory" by Jim Carpenter, Acrylic on Crescent Board, 17 1/4" x 20"

"Gazing at the stars opens our minds to another reality. a mysterious eternal world, beyond material struggle." - Tom Hodgkinson

Day 25 - The Crowd Appears

It is day 25 of the 30 Day Challenge, and I'm a couple of paintings behind, but my boss is ok with it. I took two days to finish "Memory" to my liking. So many decisions go into making a painting, and when there is a deadline of sorts, decisions that I normally might put off to "never" get made within 25 hours. I took a box cutter to the painting early in the morning and cut off about 180 square inches. And later in the day I eliminated a couple of figures and also set about delineating the space the figures inhabit - this vague mysterious environment hinting of doorways, arches, light, passages.

Hodgkinson has a chapter in How to Be Idle titled Midnight: The Moon and The Stars, in which he writes about the importance of star gazing in the life of the idler, of how contemplating the stars "reconnects us with the childlike sense of wonder at the mysteries of the universe."  In a similar way, painting can reconnect the artist with the childlike sense of wonder one has about the mysteries of the universe. Perhaps it can also awaken or reconnect that same sense of wonder in the viewer.  I suspect that those who create works of art in any medium - music, dance, theatre, visual art, literature - have a generous sense of wonder driving them to explore and create.  What do you think?  

The Trailer: Painting Opens Tomorrow!

"The Trailer" by Jim Carpenter, Acrylic on Crescent Board, 20" x 11"

"Take the weavers. Before the invention in 1764 of the spinning jenny... weavers were generally self-employed and worked as and when they chose." Tom Hodgkinson

Remember Who Is In Charge! 

Since I have committed to the 30 Day Challenge I do find myself wanting to produce a painting a day. My process really isn't one that produces a painting a day - and everything I've produced in the Challenge, save the Alaska painting, has begun with a start - and in some instances, a "start" that is pretty far along.  I usually can manage to pull it out, but today I got busy on a "start" and it turned into something that I am quite intrigued with and I've decided not to try to finish it today. 

I want to wait until tomorrow when the conditions are better. It's dark out now and I want to finish this in the daylight.  So I am revolting against my boss, Jim Carpenter (aka Me,) who is saying that I really should finish it tonight otherwise I'm failing at my job. "Job!" Ha! This is not a job, Carp! This is my idle pleasure time.  

As a compromise I am submitting 1/3 of the painting. Wild, huh.  Well, you know, I am in charge. Like the weavers of yesteryear, I get to choose.  So I am revealing - as a "trailer" - one part of the painting - the far right side. My hunch is that I won't be touching this portion of the painting tomorrow. But you never know.  

I suppose I could make this a triptych. Then I'd be good till Friday!  

Happy Rambling, folks!  

The Challenge of The Dream

"If You Dream" by Jim Carpenter, Acrylic on Crescent Board, 20" x 28"

"Our dreams take us into other worlds, alternative realities that help us make sense of day-to-day life. Dreaming is a connection to our unconscious.`" - Tom Hodgkinson

When The Dream Presents Itself, Follow!

During this 30 Day Challenge it seems that the topic of dreams keeps coming up. That's mainly because I've been reading "How To Be Idle" by Tom Hodgkinson and using it as a way into my blog posts. His comments about dreaming and daydreaming are particularly interesting to me because they give me a way to look at my paintings. 

Could it be that my paintings are the manifestations of daydreams? These figures and the setting they are in are dreamlike, are pure imagination, are the stuff dreams are made of. And, if that is the case, then I am winning the challenge to be idle.  

Best part is - it was fun!  

"Be Brave, Idleheart!"

"Called To Presence" by Jim Carpenter, Acrylic on Paper, 9" x 22.5" 

"Once the vision is in place, then the life will eventually follow. Be brave, idleheart!" 

- Tom Hodgkinson

Being Present & The Idle Heart 

Today is day 11 of Leslie Saeta's 30 Day Challenge. I've been focusing on the notion of being idle and using Tom Hodgkinson's book "How To Be Idle" as my reference guide. I'm doing this because sometimes I forget that I am actually retired and I fall into the old habit of thinking that painting full time, which I started 11 years ago for enjoyment, is a job. The idea of "job" eventually takes some of the fun out of it - and adds unnecessary pressure. What would happen if I were to look at my painting as something I do in the luxury of my leisure? What I'm discovering is that it gives me a new sense of freedom, and a new stash of bravery to support risk-taking.

"Called To Presence" is a painting that follows a familiar theme in my work. The long and narrow format is one of my favorites, and to me it is suited for storytelling and for a lineup of figures. What I sense in this painting is the meditative quality of the figures. They look contemplative - present to the world around them - observant. They are idle. Perhaps daydreaming. Meditating.

The title, "Called To Presence," refers not only to the figures in the painting but also to those who take the time to look at the painting and allow it to spark the imagination. Being present, being able to daydream, being idle, is something that is essential for creativity. It is in the idle moments that our imaginations can run free. It is in the idle moments that we can daydream and imagine a world that we would like to live in. And as Hodgkinson points out, "once the vision is in place, then the life eventually will follow." So, idleness is an essential element in a life of creativity. We have to have time to dream. 

Being Idle:Being Present

"Presence" by Jim Carpenter, Mixed Media on Crescent Board, 20" x 10"

"He abandons all possessions...and takes to the road. He is a holy figure, admired." 

- Tom Hodgkinson

The Challenge: Painting and Being Idle

I spent the day today not painting. I was having such a good time being idle that I considered not going into the studio, and then, late in the afternoon I thought I would give it a go. It was raining and I thought I'd not be able to photograph anything I might actually finish up. But I'd at least make an attempt to paint to honor my commitment to the 30 day challenge.  

I grabbed a landscape that I had worked on about a year ago. I had been experimenting with various acrylic mediums and collaged papers on crescent board. I liked the surface and the palette of this one but it just was not working as a landscape. I thought I'd try again. And again, no surprise here, I started working on it and in a matter of seconds I began to see the figures. And I really had no time to argue with the if I wanted to get my painting done for the day. And besides, I really liked what I was seeing. Why hadn't I seen them before?  

To be truly idle, I think one has to be present. Hodgkinson is writing here about the "ramble," the walk in which one is present to the walking. "Taking To The Road" might be the subtitle for this painting.  

Be A Rebel: Daydream

Idle Thoughts by Jim Carpenter, Acrylic on Paper, 10.25" x 8.25" 

"How the idle at heart suffer for their daydreaming. How cruel the bureaucrats, teachers, and usurers, who tell us our visions and fancies are a waste of time." - Tom Hodgkinson

Meeting the Challenge: On Being Idle, Day 6 

Today is day 6 of Leslie Saeta's 30 Paintings in 30 Days Challenge. At one point I wondered if I was going to paint at all today. I did my morning running routine - a 37 minute "ramble" in the rain through my neighborhood we call "the forest" for its trees and its creek. I kept thinking about yesterday's post "This is rambling! Pay attention!" Then I made breakfast and we settled into watching 2 episodes of "Homeland." Was I being idle? Yes. Idle so I could better consume an art form - acting, script writing, fiction. Even now I'm listening to a beautiful piece of music - Oblivion - as I create this bit of text.  When I finally decided to get to the painting, I turned on the music, and got to work. I should have timed it, because this painting really did emerge easily. But as I told another artist friend today, these paintings don't happen quickly. They go through a lot before they emerge. This painting had several incarnations before it was obliterated and became "Idle Thoughts." I might liken it to rehearsing a play for 7 weeks before the play finally appears on opening night. Ah, the creative process!

Idle Thoughts: Idle Conversation

I love the tilt of the head in the figure in green. What, I wonder, is he thinking? To my mind he is curious. Contemplative. Questioning.  He's almost looking at that figure sideways, a slight turn of the body under those robes. And when I look at the face on the giant figure I know that this is not a static meeting: the two figures are in communion with one another. That looming spirit is looking back, watching that robed figure with a knowing focus, and perhaps with a bit of amusement. He is another benevolent figure that appears in various guises in my paintings. I'm happy for that. 

It's a good thing these two figures don't have to run off to work at the mill. They can take their time and contemplate whatever the questions might be and pose possible answers. Or not. Maybe they are there to just think and observe.

  

I'm Really An Idle Daydreamer At Heart

So really, what is this all about? The paintings with the figures? The talk about being idle?  I'm "working on" not working. How is that for irony? This is all about having fun not having work. And I'm working on fully owning that I paint what I paint because that is what I paint and I enjoy it. I like to spend time wondering "why" I paint these things - and I like to daydream about where these paintings come from. 

How weird is it that this painting today was hidden in a painting that I cut in half yesterday and rubbed out with alcohol? And how weird is it that the painting fits perfectly with my theme of being idle so you can daydream and contemplate what it means to be in this world? How weird is it that the painting ends up being in sync with my theme? I do not plan ahead of time what I am going to paint and the painting. I look at the paper and look for the painting.  

I think maybe it is not weird at all. I think that it may just be what the creative process is all about.

The Ramble: The Challenge To Be Free

The Ramble by Jim Carpenter, Acrylic on Paper, 10.25" x 8.25" 

"The pedestrian is the highest and most mighty of beings...he is happy in the company of his own mind, he wanders detached, wise and merry, godlike."- Tom Hodgkinson

Enjoying The Journey

It is day 5 of Leslie Saeta's 30 Day Challenge. I am one day behind. My focus, however is on enjoying the experience of painting. So, so what if I'm one day behind? 

Here's what happened today. I had a painting that I was developing yesterday for completion today. And I finished it at about 2 p.m. Great! I'd be early with my post today. But there was a problem: I really didn't like the painting very much. Although I think the painting might have found an approving audience, to me it was stiff and empty. I'd have nothing to write about it come blogging time. So, I decided to turn to my old standby of alcohol (the rubbing kind) and paper towels, and I began to scrub it out. Talk about a feeling of being free! I was throwing the painting under the table and starting over. Almost. 

Erasing it was a risk, but it was a risk worth taking. I discovered that I really do love the feel of erasing what isn't working and watching a surface full of possibilities emerge. This painting looks nothing like the other. It's half the size and has 3 times the number of figures in it.  But this is the painting that was on he paper before I knew it; it was the painting that I needed to uncover.

The experience of painting this was easily identified as terrifically satisfying. Although I was not certain of what the painting actually meant, everything I was feeling was telling me that the painting was worth painting because I had really enjoyed it. The meaning would come later. 

"For the creative spirit, the act of walking harmonizes work and play."- Tom Hodginson

Iconic Idleness: Reflection on Day 4

Before Ikons by Jim Carpenter, Acrylic on Paper, 20.5" x 7.5"

"Gazing at the stars opens our minds to another reality,  a mysterious eternal world, 

beyond material struggle." - Tom Hodgkinson, How To Be Idle

Imagery: The Mysterious Eternal World

I can only make a good guess where these icon-like images come from. My 12 years of parochial  schooling seems to be the most obvious answer. Perhaps, being the descendant of Irish and Polish immigrants, I carry some deep ancestral memory for icons. I only know that I have no concept of the image when I begin a painting.  

The figures in this painting are no strangers to me. The ancient image on the wall - uncovered, surviving decay and remaining present through the ages, the figure observing the image, the wise man gazing at the viewer, and the small white figure in a doorway of light are all recurring figures in my paintings.  

If your were to ask me which figure the painting - the story - belongs to, I'd say it belongs to the small white figure at the bottom of the page. 

The icons stand before us. Inviting us to contemplate the mysteries of the eternal world.  It is an invitation only the idle can accept.

Landscape: Go Figure! - Day 2 (or 3?) of the 30 Day Challenge

Ancestral Landscape by Jim Carpenter, 

Acrylic Mixed Media on Crescent Board, 28" x 20" 

"Work and life were intertwined. A weaver, for example, might weave eight or nine yards on a rainy day. On other days...he might weave just two yards before he did 'sundry jobs about the lathe and in the yard & wrote a letter in the evening.' Or he might go cherry picking." 

- Tom Hodgkinson, How To Be Idle

Playing Hard

I'm a day late posting my painting for day 2 because I didn't finish my painting yesterday. You might think that "a painting a day" is about making a painting in a day from scratch, a blank canvas, but for me it is also the opportunity to finish paintings that I have been stalling on. I easily have 20 or so paintings in various stages of completion.

For Day 2 of the challenge I chose to "finish" a problematic landscape I started in 2013. Have you ever had a project that you felt you could work on forever and never finish? That is the point I got to with this landscape, I made adjustment after adjustment and just could not get it to balance out. After dinner and a Chi Kung class about "conserving the chi" I decided to go to bed early and just solve the painting the next day, or, if necessary, tear it up and move on to the next painting.

I was reminded of Matthew Daub's rhetorical question: "Why are you so intent on saving a painting?" And his suggestion: "Throw it under the table and just start a new one!" I was ready to throw it under the table. But I also know my own creative process and its time table. For 30 years without fail I would plunge into despair at the end of the fifth week of play rehearsals, convinced that the play would be a disaster. And again, without fail, at the end of the sixth week, I would know for certain that the play was going to work. I experience the same thing with my painting. I get to the point where I am certain that after pushing through the tough spots nothing can save it and I want to throw it under the table. But I also remember that some of my most personally satisfying paintings come from paintings that I destroy first, and then recover. So I pretty much destroyed the landscape in an hour and went to bed at 12:20 a.m.

 Original landscape

 We might call this the "Week 6" phase!

What I woke up to!

This painting is on crescent board and I used various gel mediums and some collage to create a variety of surface textures on it, so I could not lift the paint off the way I usually do on paper. Instead I just painted over it, using a palette knife and later a brush. I began to see some possibilities emerging even then, but it would mean moving away from an abstract landscape into something that incorporated figures. So what else is new?

It was a choice. I admit that I felt the pull to let the figures emerge, even though I didn't know what I would do with the landscape orientation. In retrospect, I see that I still do not easily listen to my intuition. I have to argue with it a little bit. I could write a play.

Intuition: Oh look! There are some nice figures imbedded in there!

Me: Oh, yes. But I am painting an abstract landscape, not figures. So forget about it.

Intuition: Ok. But, the figures are really cool. And the landscape is uh, ok whatever. Follow that path until you get frustrated with it, then block it out, and paint what I was suggesting in the first place.

This painting has all of the things I love to see in my paintings: the immediacy of improvisation, a sense of discovery, the notion of unearthing the remnants of some long lost work of art, the sense of the past always being present, ancestral history, reverence. It may take some doing, but it subverts the notion of "job" and supports my quest for idleness.

Sidebar: All Joking About Composition Aside

"Sidebar" by Jim Carpenter, Acrylic on Paper, 30" x 22" 

$1200

In The Center From The Beginning...

The center is the hottest spot on the canvas. That is, your eye is going to go there and stay there for a while. I often refer to it as the "hitting the audience over the head with a bat" spot. Might as well also shout, "Do you get it? Do you see? It is about these 3 figures!"

The "abstract start" for this painting was especially intriguing because the most luscious part of it was in the center of the paper, and warning flags plagued me throughout the process of carving out first one, then two, then three overlapping figures in the center of the painting. Despite the rule that says "don't put anything in the center of the paper," I just couldn't help myself. I had to do it.

Yes. This is the start!  Makes you wonder, doesn't it!

It is fine to warn about "the center" of the paper. It is a good guideline, but sometimes the center of the paper, just like the center of the stage, is not only ok, it can also be perfectly perfect. The "in your face" spot is the perfect spot for Dolly to take in the big showstopper "Hello Dolly." It's perfectly ok to put anything there you want to put there as long as you feel the subject warrants it.  

That doesn't mean though that I was not concerned about these figures being in the hot spot. I just decided to allow it and deal with the results later.

I also found myself once again dipping into my bag of "staging the scene" tidbits as I worked with the three central figures.  The differences in height, gesture, and costume are all elements of the unspoken narrative and character development inherent in dramatic text. The story is told and character is revealed not just with words but also with position, gesture, physique, and costume.

 And so, a story - however you want to spin it - begins to develop around those three figures.  One might think that it's all about them.  On the other hand, maybe it is not.  

The Key Distraction

Ok, yes, it would seem that this painting is all about the three authoritative figures, who stand together robed and in conference smack dab in the middle of the canvas.  But then there is the nondescript figure off to the left side of the paper that keeps pulling my eye over there.  Why is that figure there?

I will admit that I was concerned (at first) that I had a figure there. Once again, I couldn't help myself. That is, I liked and wanted that figure there despite the fact that I could hear the critics in my head saying "my eye keeps being pulled off to the left by this nondescript figure, clearly distant and not the obvious focus of the painting. It is a distraction." So I took it out.

Then I put it back in because the painting seemed to fall apart without it. But then I thought about the eye being pulled and so I took it out again. It was not until I thought about the importance of trusting my instincts - of acknowledging that I wanted that distraction there - that I was able to put it in and leave it in. The distraction was the key that unlocked the meaning of the painting and led to the title, "Sidebar." 

Acknowledge The Distraction: There's Always More To The Story 

Without the nondescript figure to the left, the image on the canvas offered only one melodramatic note - three figures in conference.  With the little figure to the left creating tension - pulling the eye back and forth - the image offers the possibilities of a larger, more complex, narrative. Who is that figure? What is the figure's interest in the action taking place between the three central figures? What is that figure's relationship to the three in robes? And if this were a play, who would the play be about? 

In my imagination the play would be about the figure that I keep having to look at, the figure whose presence I am not allowed to forget, even when there are three robed figures in the hot spot with a big moon-like circle marking their activity. The sweeping symbolic text swirling around all the figures suggests a cosmic narrative that lifts this image to something more allegorical than literal.

If I take anything away from the experience of making this painting it might be to have more courage when it comes to listening to my own voice.  And to look to my own history of creative expression before negating it.  Trust the muse that is leading you to do those things you think you are not supposed to be doing.  

Art and Business: Looking For Peace of Mind

"Figuration" by Jim Carpenter, Acrylic on Paper, 9.25" x 17" 

$300 unframed

Push - Pull 

I find myself weighed down by the business of art. I describe my own creative process as a "push pull" between what is on the paper and what I am adding and subtracting. I might just as easily assign "push pull" to what "the business of art" does to my physical (and my spiritual) guts.

Perhaps it would be better to call this the "push pull" between making art and being in business, because that is really where the tension lies for me right now. And the tension is all of my own making. For me the most important thing really is making art, and getting better at it. 

A Push For Business

In 2012 I decided it was time to invest in some art business training. I had invested heavily in learning how to paint, and thought it was about time I learned something more about moving some of the paintings out of the studio. I found a great coach and became part of a community of artists who are striving to make their art a successful business. Many of them are quite successful at marketing and at selling their work. I have learned a lot of best practices and have implemented many of them, but my art is not paying for itself. 

Ironically, sales have actually taken a nose dive while my success rate of getting juried into national and international art competitions has climbed. What is that all about?  My last two exhibits have left me in debt, sales not coming anywhere close to covering the cost of framing, let alone the other smaller items. On the one hand, because the most recent show "Degrees of Separation" felt like an artistic benchmark to me, I don't regret the investment one bit. On the other hand, as far as "business" is concerned... well, I had just one sale. I am grateful for that sale, but let's be honest: I  cannot reasonably consider my art a "business" unless I want to add the word "failure" to my art making.  And I do not want to do that.

So maybe I just need to stop thinking about business and think again about why I make art.

The Pull of Art

I paint because I love the creative process, and the way I paint now always promises me discovery and surprise. I paint from an intuitive place, and the images that appear in my paintings arise from ... well, I honestly cannot tell you where they come from. I just see them in the chaos that I create on the paper. When I finish a painting I always think about how impossible it would have been for me to have imagined it in advance. I don't even know if I imagine it while I'm making it. Talk about mystery!  

I can only write about my paintings after they are done, because I don't know in advance what they will be.  That seems pretty odd even to me. Yes, I always know what I am doing - it is not like I am in a trance or anything - it is just that instinct takes over when I am working and only after it is finished do I attempt to add a layer of rationale on top of it. Am I trying to explain myself?

But no matter where these paintings come from, I have to attend to the phenomenon that some viewers are intrigued by them, some are brought to tears by them. So, when that happens fairly consistently, I trust that I must be doing something meaningful and that the paintings are successful, at least in the eyes and minds and hearts of some. And that feels good. And I am encouraged.

Nagging Business of Pushing and Pulling

And then the "art business" demon raises its ugly head and says: "You must be doing something wrong, because you are not selling."  Then I try to figure out why my paintings are not selling. The most disturbing reasons are those that come back to subject matter and medium.

I begin to wonder: Should I raise my prices or lower them? Should I move to a metropolitan area? Should I stop painting on paper and switch to canvas? Should I paint landscapes and flowers on canvas? Should I paint large abstracts in Pantone's most popular colors? Should I paint images of pears? Should I stop painting altogether?

See where this is going? Crazy, huh. 

There is nothing wrong with any of these questions. They are just a pain in the neck, a distraction from making art.

Who Really Knows? 

The correct answer to each of them depends on the person asking the question. One artist may decide to paint pears. Another may decide to switch to canvas. And any number of artists and coaches and teachers might offer me an answer to consider. But the truth is, I am the only one who can determine what kind of artist I will be, what kind of art I will make, and how much energy and money I want to invest in it.  I am the one who gets to determine what is satisfactory and what is not in terms of what art-making returns to me.

Unlike many of my friends, I don't have to depend on my art to pay the rent. And I keep forgetting that. I have the luxury of painting because I want to paint, not because I have to paint to put bread on the table. 

Answering Back: Recon-Figuration

When I retired from teaching and started painting full time 11 years ago, I never imagined that I would sign and frame a painting, let alone sell one.  And now it seems I need to find some of that innocence again. Because the truth is, I paint because I love the creative process. I paint on paper because I love paper. I paint with acrylic because it allows me a certain freedom of expression. I paint figures because... I see them in the paper.

I am putting a price on "Figuration" just in case someone sees it and loves it so much they absolutely must own it (something I learned to do in my art business class - put a price on it!). Free shipping to US and Canada. Just click on the price and see where it takes you!

A Question of Eminence

"Eminence Claire" by Jim Carpenter, Acrylic on Paper, 22" x 30"

The title of this painting is a play on the phrase "éminence grise," the phrase literally means "grey eminence" and is a reference to one who wields power without holding an official position. The figures in this painting wield power. They are not shadowy figures, they are luminaries: two in the open, center stage, and one more distant figure with the strongest light shining on it.

This painting more than any other made me feel like I was directing a play when it dawned on me that I could play with the focus of this painting - and thereby tinker with the narrative - by dimming or raising the light on the figures.  I had three bits of action on the stage - each attempting to take focus - and I had to ask myself who or what is this painting about.  I felt very attached to the smaller solitary figure on the right - upstage and distant from the rest - suggesting to me that this figure had significant interest and influence in what was happening in the world of the painting.  The central figures have the focus: they are taller than the rest, closer than the rest, in the center, one is in a red cloak, the other a white cloak. Eminence! And then there was a pair of lovers on stage right (left side of the paper), exactly where lovers should be according to stage theory (if you believe in theory).  

So I decided to play with the light.  I put the lovers in the dark by layering a transparent wash over them. The story may indeed be all about them but right now we are not to focus on them. We are to know they are there, but they are not the focus at this moment: the figures in the center are the focus.  At first I thought the figure in the distance needed to be played down because it could take focus from the central figures.  But I liked the balance this figure offered to the composition. And maybe this figure that is observing the proceedings needs to tug at the viewer's attention. 

So I started to play with the light on this distant figure.  First dimming it with a wash, and then bringing it up by lifting the wash. I did this several times before I realized that I get to create the framework for the story the viewer will create while looking at this painting.  Illuminated and in the background, the smallest figure appears to be the one with the most power.  

"Eminence Claire" is getting its first public viewing in Florida, at the Melrose Bay Art Gallery in Melrose, FL, in my solo exhibit, "Degrees of Separation."

Making Art: The Unavoidable Risk

"Onward" by Jim Carpenter, Watercolor and Acrylic on Paper, 22" x 30"

"What am I afraid of? It's only a piece of paper!" 

We hear so often that it is essential to take risks in art making, and yet I never really had anyone tell me what the risks are.  That is, except for the young theatre director who told me that the improv she was having her actors do was intended to make them feel so totally foolish that they would get used to the fear of looking foolish.  I concluded that the risk in art was that you could end up looking like a fool. Since then I've added: fear of being wrong, fear of not conforming, fear of being an outlier, fear of being rejected, fear of failure, and last but not least, the ever awful fear of ruining a $3.50 sheet of watercolor paper.  

Authenticity: Inevitable Risk 

Once I stopped painting pots of flowers and started to paint from a more intuitive place, I began to deal with the risks of authentic self-expression.  I see enough of the images that I carve out of the paint to see a theme, and to see what are becoming almost stock images that appear over and over again in a similar stage setting.  In this painting, "Onward," there is the familiar figure in the robe, the light shining from some other source, a sense of movement toward or focus on or of being transfixed by the light, figures in the light, in front of the light, out of the light.  

I don't want to explain the figures. I choose not to try to explain what these images might mean to me.  I want them to remain a visual metaphor, one unlimited and undefined by words.  And besides, isn't it risk enough just to present the images?  

Writing a blog is every bit as risk-taking as painting if you are going to be authentic and publish it on the Internet.  I write because it is in the writing that I discover the lesson that creative experience holds for me.  And I write the blog to build fortitude in taking ownership of my work and the themes that are reflected in it.  Might it also encourage a reader to explore the benefits of writing a blog which serves as a tool for self-reflection and illumination?

Onward: To Turn Toward

This painting was started over a year ago, when I was exploring returning to watercolor and applying some of the techniques I use when painting with acrylic. Eventually I added acrylic to the watercolor painting before abandoning it to the "unfinished" pile. Here is what it looked like when I returned to it.

In my "finishing" I wanted to put the emphasis on the tall central figure, and take the emphasis off of all of the other figures.  I grayed-down the gold and warmed up the gray, darkened the darks and lightened the light around the central figure.  I also covered the other figures with an opaque acrylic wash.  

As I took each step I could see the other figures losing their pull, becoming secondary characters for the moment, and allowing the story to be focused primarily on the figure in the robe.  However,  the other figures are an essential element in the composition and the narrative, the role of each suggested by their posture, their placement, and their substance.  

"Onward," which comes from the Old English root "weard" meaning to "turn toward," seemed a proper title even before I looked up its etymological meaning.